Holiday Happenings

Happy MLK Day!  And Happy New Year!  And Merry Christmas!  And Happy Thanksgiving!  Oh, and Happy Halloween, too!  Somewhere along the way in the last year and a half blogging has moved progressively lower down my list of priorities.  But every now and then I get a hankering to write a bit.  Today is one of those days.

For those wondering about our pending adoption (which was scheduled for November), it's still pending.  We were all set to adopt our sweet boys on November 22nd in celebration of National Adoption Day, but some more legal stuff came up and put a stop to that.  We currently have no idea when we might be able to finalize the adoption, but we are hopeful that with the beginning of the new year, the folks working on the case will find a renewed sense of devotion to closing out this case.  At least, that's what we are praying for.  We would love you to join us in these prayers!

The weekend of MLK Day was perfect weather!  We did a little painting, tore out our old sink and put in a new vanity, and had a lovely day at the zoo.  If the boys were telling you about the zoo, they would say, "With Matt! With Matt!  We took Matt to the zoo!"  I also enjoyed teaching the boys about Dr. King.  (Martin Luther King, Junior is quite a mouthful when you are little.)  We talked about how he used his words with respect and people listened to him.  We talk a lot about using our words instead of using our hits these days, so I was thrilled to tell the boys Dr. King's story.

For the new year holiday, Lolli and Pop (my parents) came to stay with us for a few days.  We got to go to the museum with them, exchange Christmas gifts, and even tried to hold them hostage here with the help of some icy roads.  

On Christmas Day we ran away for family vacation!  This has been our tradition since The Hubs and I got married.  We stayed in a cabin, went hiking, cooked hot dogs over the campfire, and all sorts of fun things.  I wasn't even mad when it rained 75% of the time we were there, because friends, by the end of December I was all for sitting around and not doing anything.

Christmas Eve was spent with Tim's family.  The day consisted of Oma and Opa playing at our house (you don't get a break when you're a grandparent in this casa), a Christmas Eve service at church, a delicious dinner from Josh and Janet, and lots of presents.  We might have gotten The Best Christmas Present Ever- a year long pass to the zoo!  Oh, and we sent out our annual digital Christmas card. (Included here, in case you missed it.)

Thanksgiving was pretty low key.  My parents came here because Tim's new job bases their schedule off the stock market.  And did you know, it doesn't close much?  Another low key factor was me choosing to buy dinner instead of cook it all myself.  Some might call me a cheat, but I'm ok with that.

For Halloween, the boys were ninjas.  I'm talking the cutest ninjas ever.  They ran around yelling, "HI-YA!" for several days.  And The Hubs collected his Daddy Tax from their candy baskets so he enjoyed himself, too.

Does that catch us up?  Probably not, but at least it's a start.  We hope you had a great Fall and holiday season and would love to spend some time with you this year.  Blogs are nice, but time spent together is better.  :)

Glad you were curious enough to read.  

Just Plain Cute

As I write this, I am just stepping away from a 30 minute bedtime tantrum.  Being three years old at bedtime apparently means you need to have a tantrum.  Being three years old and two years old also apparently means that you have reached the conclusion that you are all that and a bag of chips.  (Did I just date myself?)  It's like a full assault on my parental authority every day.  It's not for the faint of heart.

With that being said, sometimes I just need to remember the preciousness these sweet boys let me see between the episodes of sin taking over.  Behold, the cuteness of my kids:

~One of the boys' favorite shows is PBS's Dinosaur Train.  The conductor dinosaur has a line that he says every episode when the time tunnel is approaching.  They haven't quite figured out the word "approaching," but can be heard multiple times a day yelling, "Time tunnel!  Time tunnel carunchering!"

~When The Hubs comes home from work and opens the garage door to park the car, the boys always get really excited.  One day I said, "Daddy's here, let's go give him hugs."  Little Brother marched in to where Tim was and announced, "Hi Dad.  It time to hug."

~On another day after Tim returned from work, Little Brother kept trying to get his attention.  When Tim finally answered, LB pointed at me and said with attitude, "There's your bebe."  I guess Tim hadn't kissed me hello quick enough!

~The other day some rain clouds were headed our way so we prompted the boys to pray with us, asking God for some rain.  Immediately after, Big Brother kept saying, "There's no rain.  God said no."  But about 10 minutes later when it started raining he exclaimed, "God said yes!!"

~One morning I heard a little more rustling in the boys' bedroom than normal before I went in to get them for breakfast.  What would I find upon entering?  A naked Little Brother (who still wears diapers, mind you) with the bathroom door open and sopping wet jammer bottoms in his hand.  Apparently, the water in the toilet no longer needed to be in the toilet, but rather on the bathroom floor.  And what else would one use to do that other than the pants they had been wearing to sleep in, I ask?  When Big Brother (who is normally rather bossy and likes to have a say in everything Little Brother does) was questioned he said, "I just watched."

~ Conversation at Hobby Lobby:
BB: Is there a potty here?
Me: Yes, there is.
BB: Ok, I'm about to pee myself.
Me: Well, that sounds like a problem.
If you could only have seen the look on the face of the woman perusing the aisle as her eyes locked with mine briefly before she quickly skittered away.  (We made it, by the way.  Bravo, Big Brother!)

~Little Brother loves drinking from a "big boy cup."  So much so that he usually gets overly excited and spills it on himself at the very least.  He really has been doing pretty well, but the other day I found him giving his teddy bear a drink... all over the kitchen floor.

~During a recent snack, Big Brother began pensively stroking his chin and cheek.  He then stated, "I have a beard like Daddy.  Mama, you don't have a beard.  You have a mouth."  Obviously, the opposite of a beard is a mouth.

~Our boys usually share a bedroom, but unfortunately, because of aforementioned shenanigans, they don't usually get to fall asleep in the same room.  The other night when The Hubs went to move Little Brother back to his bed, he walked into our spare room and walked right back out, not with our child, but with his diaper that was found just inside the door.

~As we move closer to adoption, we have begun to talk more long-term with our boys.  We had not done so before, because we didn't want to tell them things that might not be true.  One of the phrases we've introduced is, "I'm going to be your Mama (or Daddy) forever!"  This has been met with some resistance from Big Brother.  Quite understandably.  How is a three year old supposed to process having one family and then without warning being transplanted to a new family?  But a few days ago, I could tell he was thinking.  He asked, "Mama?  You're gonna be my Mama forever?"  I said, "Yes!  I am!" His reply was the sweetest, most heart melting, precious thing he's ever said to me.  "And I'm gonna be your Big Brother forever!"

Do we have hard days?  Yes.  Find me a parent that says otherwise and I'll call them a liar.  But, are these boys precious?  Absolutely!

In other news...
here are some before and afters of our bathroom remodel that took place a year ago.  I thought I would share them in honor of us hanging the mirror today.  It's only slightly embarrassing that it took us that long.

This was the best this bathroom could look without
starting over.

Note the toilet paper dispenser on the wall across the
room from the toilet.  That's normal.

Only picture I got of the process.  Give me a break-
we were on day one of being parents.

Slight improvement.  Ha!

The mirror that took a year to hang.
And toilet paper in an appropriate place!

If you look close, you can see two dimpled chins.  :)
The training potty is also new in the last year.

We love the bathroom now!  So thankful for our contractor who made lots of decisions for us because I could literally not think about one more thing in the first few days of welcoming our guys.

Glad you were curious enough to read.

Summertime

I realized the other day that if I didn't blog soon, our boys would be adopted before I got around to it. That's right... ADOPTED!!  I'll fill in a few details about that later, but mostly wanted to give a few glimpses into our days now.

Overall, things have been good for us.  They boys are growing and learning and just generally being cute.  Until the times they're not.  But that's not news to anyone who's ever parented (heck, just been around) two and three year olds.  They have finished school and now we're in full summer mode.  I'm not going to lie, I was scared.  So I made a crazy weekly schedule for us to follow... for my sanity more than anyone else's.  I've got to have some structure.  A plan.  My children added the word "syllable" to their vocabulary, and I did a happy dance around the kitchen.  And then summer really got busy and all my well laid plans flew out the window.  I haven't given up, I've just backed off a bit... for my sanity.

The boys are doing gymnastics once a week, which is hilarious.  Big Brother's entire take away from each class is dependent on the trampoline:  "You did such a good job!  Was that fun?"  "I did NOT jump on the trampoline."  Little Brother's class is a mommy and me style class that I love.  It's fun to watch them learn and grow and develop skills.  But I repeat, it's hilarious.

I know if we could show you pictures, our boys would just make you melt.  Since we're not quite there yet, I'll just have to talk about them a little more so you can paint your own pictures.  We borrowed a book from the library called Ninja! a couple of weeks ago.  One of the boys' favorite lines from the book is, "I am a ninja!"  I had put the book on the dining table thinking that little hands would not get into them unless I was supervising (you know, these being borrowed books and all), until Little Brother wandered into the living room with the Ninja! book.  I said, "Oh, no.  Did you climb on the table and get the book?"  His response?  "I am ninja!!"

During the World Cup I was cheering for Germany, and while we watched the final the boys were cheering with me.  Still to this day, Big Brother will say, "I'm Germany!" when playing any type of sport.  He also will randomly yell at the top of his lungs, "GO GERMANY!"  Usually in a public place like the grocery store.  In other sports news, we took the boys to their first baseball game.  I cannot express how much it thrills me that my boys are into this.

We got a package in the mail the other day so I asked the boys what they thought might be inside.  Big Brother thought it was a "new teethbrushing," and Little Brother thought it was a "motorcycle."  I don't know what goes on in their heads, but it is a normal thing for me to be surprised by what they say.

And in other news, not related to the kids, my garden is growing.  This is a miracle.  I have never grown anything in my life.  And I busted the window out of our car.  Apparently I got a little too rambunctious with the weed eater.  Mercedes was singing in my head for at least 24 hours.  The Hubs and I also celebrated our third anniversary.  We went to this place that had several high ropes courses up in the trees.  Probably not your typical anniversary celebration, but perfect for us Curious Caves.  Oh, and I donated my pony tail and now have awesome hair.

My bad.

Love birds

And finally, our adoption update.  The last time I wrote about our case, we were waiting for May 12th.  It came and went uneventfully, thanks to the lack of urgency in our particular court.  We had to wait for paperwork that should have come in February but actually got to us in July.  Once those papers came through, we were able to start the process for adopting the boys.  It's more paperwork and more waiting, but it looks like we might actually be finished and finalized in a month or two.  I'm a little hesitant to put that timeline in writing, though, because we have learned not to expect a quick turn around on anything.  We are so excited to adopt for so many reasons!  We will have more freedom in decisions we make for our boys, we will get to give them our name, AND we can have a regular ol' babysitter stay with them while we go on a date like normal people.  ;)

This is what happens when your three year old takes your picture on date night.

He got a decent one, too, though.

Glad you were curious enough to read.

On Birthdays, Attachment, and Poop

On Birthdays

Our boys both had birthdays in March!  Big Brother was first and turned three years old.  He can dress and undress himself, and he washes himself and his hair in the bathtub now.  He loves to eat.  We're talking if you have food and he doesn't, he goes into full baby bird mode- head up, mouth open, big brown eyes batting long eyelashes worthy of envy.  He loves to play with cars and trucks, ride his bike, and read books.  Go, Diego, Go is his favorite show to watch and he loves music.  I'm pretty sure he is destined for the percussion section with the way he is constantly drumming on anything that stays still long enough.

Little Brother came next and turned two years old.  He is gaining independence and has the attitude to prove it.  He wants to climb on his own, eat on his own, and bike on his own, even if the results are not pretty.  (Let's be honest, he walks his tricycle instead of riding it.)  If we're not quick enough getting the food in front of him once he's at the table, he lets us know all about it.  He has two great joys- cars and outside.  When you combine the two, he is happy as a lark.  He's not super interested in TV, but would rather look at a book.  I'm not offended.  He's got the best dance moves I've ever seen and loves to use them often.

We got to have a joint party with all of our my friends and their kids.  It. was. the. best.

Lined up by age.  Missing the baby who was napping, and one other
still in a tummy.  How do we have so many kids?!

The Brothers checking out their new train set along with their twin friends.
And their other twin friends in the background.  Oh yeah.  That's why there's
so many... they all came two by two!

On Attachment

People generally say that they would not be able to foster because they could never let a child leave their home once they had arrived.  This is definitely a risky business which could certainly end in heartbreak.  But, let me say this with all the grace I can muster: attachment is not an immediate reaction for child or parent.  Notice I did not specify foster or biological families.  With that being said, there have been some sweet moments of attachment lately!

Big Brother had his very first school performance.  His class got one song, and essentially they were just turned loose up on the stage with some ribbons while some music played.  Before it began, Big Brother was sitting on the steps of the stage with his class waiting for everyone to arrive.  He kept looking to make sure we were still there and waving at us.  When he moved up on the stage, he got a little disoriented and couldn't find us.  The music was playing, his friends were dancing, but all he was doing was saying, "Mama!" as he searched the room for us.  When he finally spotted us, I cannot even explain the eruption of joyful dancing that burst out of that child.  And I cried.  And laughed.  Tears of joy for this precious boy who is capturing more and more of my heart.

Later that same night we were out past our usual 7pm and Little Brother let me hold and snuggle him for about half an hour.  Trust me, this is a rare thing for one as independent as he.  My Mama heart was so full!

On Poop

We have officially potty trained, people!  Well, one child at least.  The decreased amount of diapers in this house is glorious.  Remember that time Big Brother had a third birthday?  Yeah.  That's when he got his very own big boy potty and big boy underwear, because using the potty was going to be the most exciting thing he had ever done in his tiny little life.  {Pause: I think I hear The Hubs cleaning up a nap time accident as I type.  Oops.}  Potty at home came easier than potty away from home, so when he had an accident free day, he got to call Lolli and tell her he went poop at school.

Naturally, the next time he pooped at school, he felt like he needed to call Lolli and tell her.  And also Pop and Uncle Goober.  Lolli and Pop both answered their phones.  Uncle Goober did not.  Here's the message that was left right after Big Brother's aforementioned success on the stage at school: "Uncle Boober, I poop on the steps!"

For Free

In February, we were in court to learn how the boys' case was going to end.  Their parents' rights were terminated and the case is now in a 90 day waiting period.  It was heart-wrenching to witness the breaking of a family.  I cried all the way home from court, knowing that I should be happy we were one step closer to adoption, but needing to grieve this great loss that had just occurred.  I know it will be a long time before our boys will be able to understand what happened that day, but when they do we will grieve again.  And again.  And probably some more.  May 12th is the end of our 90 days, after which we should officially become an adoptive placement!  Don't know much on a timeline from there, but we should be a forever family sooner than we ever could have imagined.

Glad you were curious enough to read.

What A Man

A few days ago I was spending some time with one of my sweet friends and telling her how wonderful The Hubs has been in all of this new parenting stuff.  Her question to me was, "Have you told him that?"  I had told him, but I think he deserves some bragging in a more public arena.

My man has been with me 100% every step of this journey.  He has gracefully entered fatherhood by doing things like shouting and hollering when a diaper is particularly smelly, carrying a child at arms length in order to decide what to do with him right after he's pinched the tar out of Dada's inner thigh, and being the first to jump at the offer of a minivan.  He works hard all day in order to "Bacon home," as Big Brother puts it, and still hits the ground running when he gets home, where he tackles the dishes while being tackled by toddlers.  He gives the boys their baths at night, reads books with them, makes them laugh at the dinner table, and has epic dance parties with them.  He has instituted the "two boys" maneuver that is now a staple in our house, and also probably the cause of his recent back injury.  Oops.

While his praises as a father could go on, it's his unrelenting husbanding (yes, I just made that a verb) that blows me away.  We've had a lot to deal with.  And part of what Tim has had to deal with has been  The Ugly.  I cannot imagine how he could have done this better.  He has listened and waited and not tried to fix me.  He has made me laugh, been quiet with me, sent me out of the house, and been my best friend.  He hasn't pushed me to figure out my junk, but has walked beside me and loved me when I haven't felt very lovable.  My words don't do him justice... we're talking husband of the year, here!  I think I'll keep him.

The other day when I picked Big Brother up from school his teacher told me he'd been saying, "Daddy love Mama!" That speaks volumes on so many levels.

Confession

I drive a minivan... and I like it.  There.  I said it.

Before children I fully intended to fight the inevitable minivan much harder than I actually did.  (I say inevitable because I've always known I'm too cheap to own a fancy SUV with a third row.)  I thought, "Surely I can make it to 30 before giving in.  Who wants to drive a minivan in their 20s?" Pride much?

But can I just say- it. is. awesome.

In case you don't know, I am tall.  I hated having to bend myself in half to get the boys in and out of the car.  And I practically had to crawl out of it with my ridiculously long legs after riding in it.  Also, the third row doubles as a changing table.  And I can fit my groceries in the back, even with the stroller, rather than having to pile them in the passenger seat because there was not a square inch of room left in the trunk when our double stroller was in it.  Plus, when we went on vacay we just popped the back row out of that bad boy and loaded it up.  The Hubs even said, "It feels like we're cheating," because there wasn't stuff in our laps.

Did I mention this is my Mema's 1999 minivan with a tape deck and fluffy seatbelt cover?  Don't worry, I've never claimed to be hip or trendy.

So there.  I drive a minivan, and yes, I like it.

Glad you were curious enough to read.

Breaking the Silence

I think it's about time for an update.  Not that I can say all that much about the boys or their case, but I am ready for the freedom to start writing again about our silly little adventures and crazy little life.  I'm not really sure where to start or how to put this, but I guess I've been quiet for so long because I was afraid of being fake.

See, I knew that if I told cute stories about our kiddos, people would read them and be entertained, but I would be presenting only a very small part of our story.  What I have to say, what's been festering in me for the last few months, is not earth shattering.  Neither will it be surprising to many people.  But I need to be honest before I can be entertaining, or funny, or witty, or any other thing that I might aspire to be.  

So here it is- parenting is hard.  I don't just mean the what-do-we-feed-them, who-do-we-trust-them-to, they-don't-want-to-nap-today, their-shoes-are-on-the-wrong-feet stuff.  All those things do add up to a lot, but what I really mean is that becoming a parent is hard.  Becoming a parent exposes the good, the bad, and the ugly in a person.  And I've found out that I have a lot of ugly.  

We knew that we didn't sign up for a cake walk when we decided to foster and become parents, but what I didn't expect was my reaction to being a parent.  How do I deal with all this ugly?  But as I've talked to other women, both foster and biological parents, I've learned that I'm not alone.  Unfortunately, we just don't always talk about the hard parts.  My hope in sharing is that whether you are a current or future parent, we would be able to have real conversations about ourselves.

An important lesson in all this is that I have barely scratched the surface of the unconditional love that the Father has for us.  As I experience the all to easily recognizable sin nature of a one and two year old, I know that beneath my exterior of "acting correctly" and "following rules" I can still kick and scream and throw a fit when I don't get my way.  I must look like such a child to my Heavenly Father as I try to hide my sin from Him and the world.  "How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He should give his only Son, to make a wretch His treasure." (Townend)

But enough (probably too much) about me, and on to the boys.  They had a wonderful Christmas with a visit from Oma and Opa, a family vacation, and a visit from Lolli and Pop.  We have new bikes, which we like to walk instead of ride, and a toy kitchen that is capable of concocting whatever the imagination can desire, and 20 million new cars (no. lie.).  Oh, and The Hubs has discovered the art of home videos.  

February is a big month for us.  The boys will have a placement hearing.  We will go, may or may not be involved, and at the end will know one way or the other whether the boys are staying as part of our family or not.  At least that is what we have been told.  Basically, the judge will review the case that has unfolded over the last year and make a decision.  The day after the hearing the boys will have been with us for six months.  

We hope everyone had wonderful holidays and wish you many blessings in the year to come.  Please let us hear from you if we haven't in a while!

Oh, little town of Bethlehem

Thanks for the kitchen, Oma!

We love vacation!

Little Brother is dangerously close to the mullet line.

Thanks for the gingerbread house, Lolli... and the candy we got to sneak!

Glad you were curious enough to read.